Thank you so much for commenting, especially since it’s such a hard subject for you.
Honestly, my first response to your second paragraph is “What the hell is WRONG with those people?!?!?!?!” I just… speechless. And quite frankly sorry for all their relatives other than their children, if that’s the attitude they take (also, tempted to throw dictionaries at their head until the actual meaning of ‘family’ gets into their brains). I mean, if you “don’t know anything about love” until you have children, do they apply that to their own relationships and conclude they never loved their parents, or their spouses, or anyone else at all? Just… If someone (understandably) misinterprets that question when they meant to ask about children, the correct response from them should be to apologize and rephrase, not be offensive! Ugggghhhh, some people… I’m so so sorry you have to deal with that. Of course you love your nieces! Don’t let them make you think otherwise *hugs*
Interestingly enough, the point I was aiming for with Nell’s comment about family wasn’t so much that she’s childless, as that she has no close relatives; and the loss of her parents and sister clearly hit her hard (I get the feeling that the escape from the Nazis, and then losing Con - who at the very least was her best friend, then suddenly married and went off to Singapore - brought that loss back very strongly for her. I can’t see the Nell we saw in Tirol thinking her death wouldn’t matter, for instance). I don’t really count the cousins who only show up in the war, because I don’t think she does! At one point I considered Hilda flipping it around and asking Nell if her death wouldn’t have mattered, but then I wasn’t sure if she would because as far as we know Hilda does have a living father and at least two brothers - none of whom ever apparently show up when she nearly dies, which is intriguing but a whole other fic probably. (Also the blessed woman insisted on losing her temper instead of arguing reasonably! This story was quite different when I planned it out, but the characters took over...)
I think Hilda’s right about Biddy at the very least - EBD is frustratingly vague about who exactly is responsible for Biddy; she spends some holidays, I think, with the Russells, but certainly not all, and isn’t a part of the family as Juliet is - but her school reports go to Nell and she says as an adult that it’s the school that was home to her. The cousins not so much, maybe, but Nell’s close enough to Joey and Jack that they make her godmother to their eldest child, and all the staff are pretty close (I remember how upset they all were about Mdlle Lepatre, and Herr Laubach…).
Nell and Hilda dealing with someone like that would be interesting… I’m not entirely sure how it would come up, because in those times you could only keep teaching if you weren’t married, so I think people would have assumed they didn’t marry because they wanted to keep teaching? Or, hmm, someone assuming they’re not married because they “couldn’t catch a man” would be interesting - they’re both by my count rather too young to have lost sweethearts in WWI, but not too young to have potentially married someone from that generation, and such a lot of men died. (Also of course in my head neither has any interest in men, but that’s by the way). I’ll keep in mind! I have them as 35-37 in Lavender - screwy timeline complicates it, but I think that’s about right.
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carisma_sensei
no subject
Date: 2015-03-10 04:09 pm (UTC)Honestly, my first response to your second paragraph is “What the hell is WRONG with those people?!?!?!?!” I just… speechless. And quite frankly sorry for all their relatives other than their children, if that’s the attitude they take (also, tempted to throw dictionaries at their head until the actual meaning of ‘family’ gets into their brains). I mean, if you “don’t know anything about love” until you have children, do they apply that to their own relationships and conclude they never loved their parents, or their spouses, or anyone else at all? Just… If someone (understandably) misinterprets that question when they meant to ask about children, the correct response from them should be to apologize and rephrase, not be offensive! Ugggghhhh, some people… I’m so so sorry you have to deal with that. Of course you love your nieces! Don’t let them make you think otherwise *hugs*
Interestingly enough, the point I was aiming for with Nell’s comment about family wasn’t so much that she’s childless, as that she has no close relatives; and the loss of her parents and sister clearly hit her hard (I get the feeling that the escape from the Nazis, and then losing Con - who at the very least was her best friend, then suddenly married and went off to Singapore - brought that loss back very strongly for her. I can’t see the Nell we saw in Tirol thinking her death wouldn’t matter, for instance). I don’t really count the cousins who only show up in the war, because I don’t think she does! At one point I considered Hilda flipping it around and asking Nell if her death wouldn’t have mattered, but then I wasn’t sure if she would because as far as we know Hilda does have a living father and at least two brothers - none of whom ever apparently show up when she nearly dies, which is intriguing but a whole other fic probably. (Also the blessed woman insisted on losing her temper instead of arguing reasonably! This story was quite different when I planned it out, but the characters took over...)
I think Hilda’s right about Biddy at the very least - EBD is frustratingly vague about who exactly is responsible for Biddy; she spends some holidays, I think, with the Russells, but certainly not all, and isn’t a part of the family as Juliet is - but her school reports go to Nell and she says as an adult that it’s the school that was home to her. The cousins not so much, maybe, but Nell’s close enough to Joey and Jack that they make her godmother to their eldest child, and all the staff are pretty close (I remember how upset they all were about Mdlle Lepatre, and Herr Laubach…).
Nell and Hilda dealing with someone like that would be interesting… I’m not entirely sure how it would come up, because in those times you could only keep teaching if you weren’t married, so I think people would have assumed they didn’t marry because they wanted to keep teaching? Or, hmm, someone assuming they’re not married because they “couldn’t catch a man” would be interesting - they’re both by my count rather too young to have lost sweethearts in WWI, but not too young to have potentially married someone from that generation, and such a lot of men died. (Also of course in my head neither has any interest in men, but that’s by the way). I’ll keep in mind! I have them as 35-37 in Lavender - screwy timeline complicates it, but I think that’s about right.