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elen_nareTitle: Don't Lie
Fandom: Swallows and Amazons
Rating: T
Length: 1166 words
Author notes: written for the prompt meme - still taking prompts :)
In the last section, Nancy has joined the SOE - John doesn't know this, or possibly even that the SOE exists precisely, but he suspects she's doing some sort of intelligence work. (There should at some point be a prequel to that bit... I think it stands alone well, hopefully).
Summary: Truths, half-truths, and lies John and Nancy tell each other over the years.
“Buck up,” Nancy instructed John privately, under the noise of the others’ conversation. “You heard Uncle Jim and your mother, it could have happened to anyone.”
“Even you?” John asked, and regretted it as soon as the words left his mouth. “Honest Pirate,” he added quickly. Comforting lies was the last thing he wanted.
“Maybe not on Pike Rock, but that’s just because I’ve been warned about it so often,” Nancy replied. “We’ve had a few narrow scrapes, though - and remember, we grew up by the Lake, Uncle Jim warned us about all the dangerous places. You were just unlucky. And you really can borrow Amazon, if you want. We probably won't be able to use her much, anyway,” she ended with a hint of bitterness. Why did the G.A. have to be here now of all times?
“Thanks, but we couldn’t,” John said firmly, touched by the renewed offer. Would he have been so quick to offer Swallow to shipwrecked sailors, if it had been the other way round? He hoped he would, but he had to admit he wasn’t sure. Of course, Nancy would never have been shipwrecked, anyway… Then Mother spoke to him, and his attention turned to other things.
John flashed Nancy a sudden grin as they scrambled up a hill. “So much for a quiet sailing holiday,” he said.
Nancy grinned back. “Jibbooms and bobstays! Who wants quiet? Much better to end with a bang.”
She hadn’t meant the end of all their adventures really, just the end of this holiday, but the grin slid from John’s face. “It’s not the end…”
“You’ll be in the Navy next year, and I’ll be at Oxford…” Nancy’s voice trailed off.
“You’ll have holidays, and I’ll have leave sometimes,” John argued.
“It won’t be the same, though, will it? You’ll be going to sea properly now, like your father.”
John winced, then hastily tried to smooth his expression. Nancy had noticed, though.
“What’s wrong, John?”
He didn’t even consider trying to deny anything was wrong; he knew Nancy would get it out of him somehow. “What if… what if I’m not as good as he is?” It came out in a rush, his hidden fear.
“Of course you will be! Don’t be a galoot. You’ll be great.”
“You’d be better,” John replied, remembering all the times Nancy had proved herself as a sailor and a Captain over the years.
“Don’t lie,” Nancy said, laughing.
“I’m serious. You would be.”
“The Royal Navy doesn’t take - pirates. I’d rather be Missee Lee, anyway.” And it was true, she told herself fiercely. Following in Uncle Jim’s footsteps, becoming a journalist, travelling the world, it was what she wanted. What she’d have chosen even if she’d had that choice… And that was enough of that. “Now, come on! We’ve got to distract Mr Jemmerling.”
They had slowed almost to a stop as they talked; now she set off again, striding quickly. John hurried to catch up with her, frowning as he realised the odd pause should have been filled with ‘girls’, not ‘pirates’. He tried to surreptitiously examine Nancy’s face for signs he’d upset her, but she noticed his scrutiny and pulled a face at him.
“It’s not next year yet, Captain John. Let’s end this one with a bang!”
Nancy stopped her annoyed muttering at the stocking she was pulling on, and smiled at him. “I wish you could, or I could see you off, but it can’t be done if we’re both going to get our trains… Awful luck they go from different stations!”
“It’s back to Plymouth for you, isn’t it?” he asked, attempting a casual tone. From the way Nancy’s eyes narrowed, he didn’t think he’d fooled her.
“Of course it is. Why do you ask?”
He hesitated, carefully knotting his tie. “Nance… What are you really doing?”
Nancy’s thoughts flew. She couldn’t tell him - or anyone - what she had really been doing in London, or where she would be going from Plymouth; she had known that before the nondescript man who had interviewed her in Baker Street said so. But how she hated lying to John…
“Shiver my timbers! You know what I’m doing. Being a Wren, doing my bit - the bit they’ll let me do, at least.” It wasn’t really a lie; she was doing everything they’d let her, it was simply that she’d managed to find a way to do more than she had been doing.
Standing, she began to hunt for her blouse, grateful for the chance to hide her face even as she continued to think what else she could say. When she turned back, John caught her eyes again.
“Really?” he asked quietly, and then, more quietly still, “Don’t lie.”
“Honest Pirate?” she said. He couldn’t help smiling, and her wickedest grin flashed back. “Is there really such a thing? It sounds like a contradiction.”
John looked at her in silence, wondering why he was asking. If it was what he suspected, if she was doing something beyond the WRNS, it would be covered by the Official Secrets Act. She wouldn’t be able to tell him anything, and he would just make it that much harder for her. But if it was… it would be so dangerous… and yet, what right did he have to tell her not to risk her life, when he would be risking his?
“Sorry,” he told her, not specifying what for. He knew he didn’t have to. “Here’s your tie. We’d better hurry.”
They didn’t speak as they finished dressing and packed their things, both already thinking of the dark and dangerous days that surely lay ahead. When they were ready, it was almost time to leave; but they clung together for one last hug, one last kiss.
“I know I can’t ask you to be safe,” John said, and she snorted.
“It’s war. No-one’s safe.”
“I know. But… will you be careful?”
She nodded, and kissed him again. “You be careful too. And…” there was no one to hear, but she still dropped her voice to a murmur in his ear. “When the war’s over… if we both… ask me again then.”
He frowned. She had said that last night, before… He could feel the blood rushing to his face, and hastily pulled his thoughts away. Was she reminding him of that? Or giving him as much of an answer as she could to his questions of this morning?
“I will,” he promised, either way.
She clung tighter to him, and if it had been anyone but Nancy he’d have said she was trembling. Or maybe he was the one trembling.
“I love you, John.” If there was nothing else she could truthfully say, she thought, at least there was that.
“I love you too.”
Fandom: Swallows and Amazons
Rating: T
Length: 1166 words
Author notes: written for the prompt meme - still taking prompts :)
In the last section, Nancy has joined the SOE - John doesn't know this, or possibly even that the SOE exists precisely, but he suspects she's doing some sort of intelligence work. (There should at some point be a prequel to that bit... I think it stands alone well, hopefully).
Summary: Truths, half-truths, and lies John and Nancy tell each other over the years.
“Buck up,” Nancy instructed John privately, under the noise of the others’ conversation. “You heard Uncle Jim and your mother, it could have happened to anyone.”
“Even you?” John asked, and regretted it as soon as the words left his mouth. “Honest Pirate,” he added quickly. Comforting lies was the last thing he wanted.
“Maybe not on Pike Rock, but that’s just because I’ve been warned about it so often,” Nancy replied. “We’ve had a few narrow scrapes, though - and remember, we grew up by the Lake, Uncle Jim warned us about all the dangerous places. You were just unlucky. And you really can borrow Amazon, if you want. We probably won't be able to use her much, anyway,” she ended with a hint of bitterness. Why did the G.A. have to be here now of all times?
“Thanks, but we couldn’t,” John said firmly, touched by the renewed offer. Would he have been so quick to offer Swallow to shipwrecked sailors, if it had been the other way round? He hoped he would, but he had to admit he wasn’t sure. Of course, Nancy would never have been shipwrecked, anyway… Then Mother spoke to him, and his attention turned to other things.
******
John flashed Nancy a sudden grin as they scrambled up a hill. “So much for a quiet sailing holiday,” he said.
Nancy grinned back. “Jibbooms and bobstays! Who wants quiet? Much better to end with a bang.”
She hadn’t meant the end of all their adventures really, just the end of this holiday, but the grin slid from John’s face. “It’s not the end…”
“You’ll be in the Navy next year, and I’ll be at Oxford…” Nancy’s voice trailed off.
“You’ll have holidays, and I’ll have leave sometimes,” John argued.
“It won’t be the same, though, will it? You’ll be going to sea properly now, like your father.”
John winced, then hastily tried to smooth his expression. Nancy had noticed, though.
“What’s wrong, John?”
He didn’t even consider trying to deny anything was wrong; he knew Nancy would get it out of him somehow. “What if… what if I’m not as good as he is?” It came out in a rush, his hidden fear.
“Of course you will be! Don’t be a galoot. You’ll be great.”
“You’d be better,” John replied, remembering all the times Nancy had proved herself as a sailor and a Captain over the years.
“Don’t lie,” Nancy said, laughing.
“I’m serious. You would be.”
“The Royal Navy doesn’t take - pirates. I’d rather be Missee Lee, anyway.” And it was true, she told herself fiercely. Following in Uncle Jim’s footsteps, becoming a journalist, travelling the world, it was what she wanted. What she’d have chosen even if she’d had that choice… And that was enough of that. “Now, come on! We’ve got to distract Mr Jemmerling.”
They had slowed almost to a stop as they talked; now she set off again, striding quickly. John hurried to catch up with her, frowning as he realised the odd pause should have been filled with ‘girls’, not ‘pirates’. He tried to surreptitiously examine Nancy’s face for signs he’d upset her, but she noticed his scrutiny and pulled a face at him.
“It’s not next year yet, Captain John. Let’s end this one with a bang!”
******
It was still dark outside, as two young officers hurriedly donned their uniforms by lamplight. As he buttoned his shirt, John said, “I wish I could come and see you off.”Nancy stopped her annoyed muttering at the stocking she was pulling on, and smiled at him. “I wish you could, or I could see you off, but it can’t be done if we’re both going to get our trains… Awful luck they go from different stations!”
“It’s back to Plymouth for you, isn’t it?” he asked, attempting a casual tone. From the way Nancy’s eyes narrowed, he didn’t think he’d fooled her.
“Of course it is. Why do you ask?”
He hesitated, carefully knotting his tie. “Nance… What are you really doing?”
Nancy’s thoughts flew. She couldn’t tell him - or anyone - what she had really been doing in London, or where she would be going from Plymouth; she had known that before the nondescript man who had interviewed her in Baker Street said so. But how she hated lying to John…
“Shiver my timbers! You know what I’m doing. Being a Wren, doing my bit - the bit they’ll let me do, at least.” It wasn’t really a lie; she was doing everything they’d let her, it was simply that she’d managed to find a way to do more than she had been doing.
Standing, she began to hunt for her blouse, grateful for the chance to hide her face even as she continued to think what else she could say. When she turned back, John caught her eyes again.
“Really?” he asked quietly, and then, more quietly still, “Don’t lie.”
“Honest Pirate?” she said. He couldn’t help smiling, and her wickedest grin flashed back. “Is there really such a thing? It sounds like a contradiction.”
John looked at her in silence, wondering why he was asking. If it was what he suspected, if she was doing something beyond the WRNS, it would be covered by the Official Secrets Act. She wouldn’t be able to tell him anything, and he would just make it that much harder for her. But if it was… it would be so dangerous… and yet, what right did he have to tell her not to risk her life, when he would be risking his?
“Sorry,” he told her, not specifying what for. He knew he didn’t have to. “Here’s your tie. We’d better hurry.”
They didn’t speak as they finished dressing and packed their things, both already thinking of the dark and dangerous days that surely lay ahead. When they were ready, it was almost time to leave; but they clung together for one last hug, one last kiss.
“I know I can’t ask you to be safe,” John said, and she snorted.
“It’s war. No-one’s safe.”
“I know. But… will you be careful?”
She nodded, and kissed him again. “You be careful too. And…” there was no one to hear, but she still dropped her voice to a murmur in his ear. “When the war’s over… if we both… ask me again then.”
He frowned. She had said that last night, before… He could feel the blood rushing to his face, and hastily pulled his thoughts away. Was she reminding him of that? Or giving him as much of an answer as she could to his questions of this morning?
“I will,” he promised, either way.
She clung tighter to him, and if it had been anyone but Nancy he’d have said she was trembling. Or maybe he was the one trembling.
“I love you, John.” If there was nothing else she could truthfully say, she thought, at least there was that.
“I love you too.”
